Interesting review/profile of Adam Phillips in the New Yorker (paywalled):
Phillips, Britain’s foremost psychoanalytic writer, dislikes the modern notion that we should all be out there fulfilling our potential. In his new book, he argues that, instead of feeling that we should have a better life, we should just live, as gratifyingly as possible, the life we have. Otherwise, we are setting ourselves up for bitterness. What makes us think that we could have been a contender? Yet, in the dark of night, we do think this, and grieve that it wasn’t possible. “And what was not possible all too easily becomes the story of our lives,” Phillips writes. “Our lived lives might become a protracted mourning for, or an endless trauma about, the lives we were unable to live.”
Since you can’t read the entire thing online, here are some fully available Phillips alternatives: The NYT review of Missing Out. The interview mentioned there. And a book excerpt (via NPR). Satisfied?