Jim Taylor, PhD asks, Are you raising a human being or a human doing?
Having internalized their perceptions of being a human doing from their parents, children come to love themselves only when they are successful and experience nothing less than self-loathing when they fail.
Giving kids the label of “smart” does not prevent them from underperforming. It might actually be causing it.
Which, taken together, sort of synch up. Sort of. In another line: Parenting is confusing. If you’re struggling with it, you’re not alone.